Served Handily
Wednesday — September 1st, 2010

Served Handily

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POSTED BY ben - September 1st, 2010

Served Handily

One or two of you may remember last year around this time when I consumed Penelope Pineapple, one of the elite members of the World’s Largest Gummi Bear™ club.

Since then millions of people (give or take a million people) have asked me what my next big eating adventure will be. I am happy to report that the makers of the WLGB have provided me with not one, but two next big adventures. And I am requesting your help in choosing which one I will go on first.

Choice #1: The World’s Largest Gummi Worm™

The World’s Largest Gummi Worm™ is the next logical step in the evolution of big gummi. I love gummi worms, more than gummi bears actually. I think it’s because they are multi-flavored and always seem to stay fresher longer.

There are multiple gummi worm flavors. After carefully consideration (there were ten to choose from) I decided on the combination of cherry and apple. It measures 24.5 inches long, 1.75 inches wide and 1.5 inches tall. It smells good.

Choice #2: The Gummi Brain

I don’t know if this is considered the world’s largest gummi brain. They don’t package it with that title the way they do for the bear and the worm, so I don’t want to assume. Regardless, it’s big. So big, in fact, that it has to wear shades.

How cute is that?

Gummi Brains only come in one flavor: pink tropical fruit. That’s going to be a little bit of a challenge. I like tropical fruit flavor, and I like eating gummi, but will I like the two of them together in such a large quantity? I’m not sure.

So, faithful readers, the choice is yours. Do I eat the gummi worm or gummi brain first? I plan to start eating this Saturday, so please let me know your thoughts in the comments section soon.

- Ben

No
POSTED BY Woody - August 26th, 2010

Late Show Highlights

The great thing about reviewing five different late-night talk shows is that one of them is working just about every week while the rest take vacation. Last week it was Jimmy Kimmel Live!, this week it’s the Late Show with David Letterman. Here were my favorite monologue jokes from last night’s show:

Welcome to New York City, the city that never sleeps. You know why? Bedbugs.

What a day outside. The strange, rainy weather in New York City. It’s 70 and gray…like Bret Favre.

You know about Bret Favre? He retires, then he doesn’t retire, then he retires, then he doesn’t retire, and now apparently he’s not retired and he’s playing again for the Vikings. At training camp yesterday he fumbled…his teeth. On Monday he dropped back to pass…a kidney stone. And today he was tackled by his Medic Alert bracelet.

Sad news. Tiger Woods’ divorce is final. And his wife, beautiful woman by the name of Elin Nordegren, is quite a catch when you think about it. She’s young. She’s beautiful. She leads the PGA in earnings.

They’ve recalled every egg ever laid, ladies and gentlemen. Don’t eat the eggs; you’ll drop dead in your plate. I mean it’s nasty, it’s lousy, it’s salmonella. I hate it when somebody jumps on the bandwagon when there is something awful like this. Hollywood, already, in the works a brand new movie about the egg recall. Have you heard about it? It’s called Eat, Pray, Vomit.

The desk segments included the Top Ten Ways Miss Universe Plans to Make the World a Better Place. It was read by 2010 Miss Universe winner Ximena Navarrete. It was really funny:

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Christina Applegate was the first couch guest. She’s in the new movie Going the Distance. Overall the interview was pretty good. Christina has been on the show multiple times, and she and Dave get along really well. This time she is pregnant with her first child, so they spent most of the interview discussing pregnancy. Here’s a clip:

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Tom Dreesen was the second couch guest. I’ve seen him on Letterman before and he’s always a fun guest. He told some great stories.

The Pretty Reckless was the musical guest. They did some rockin’.

Good show. I give it:

- Woody

No
POSTED BY Woody - August 24th, 2010

Late Show Highlights

He’s back from vacation. Here were my favorite monologue jokes from last night’s Late Show with David Letterman:

You folks in the audience, while you’re here tonight, while you’re here enjoying the show in the Ed Sullivan Theater, while you’re here right now; back at your hotel bedbugs are going through the mini-bar.

They found alligators in Queens. Mayor Bloomberg, he stood up and said, “My fault.” He brought in the alligators; he thought it would fix the rat problem.

Roger Clemens may to prison for perjury because he may have lied to Congress. And I’m thinking, “Wait a minute, all of a sudden that’s a crime?”

The desk segments include Top Ten Signs New York City Has a Bedbug Problem:

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Brian Williams was the first couch guest. He is the anchor of NBC Nightly News anchor at NBC. I really enjoy when he comes on Letterman. He’s very smart, incredibly well-spoken, charismatic and funny. Letterman began the interview making fun of his appearances on the Tonight Show with Jay Leno:

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I wish I had clips from the rest of the interview, which I thought had some real quality. They spoke about the situations in Pakistan and the Gulf, climate change, the Tea Party, the economy, Obama and America in general. Letterman asked down to Earth questions and Brian had good responses.

Big Boi was the musical guest. He’s actually kinda skinny and adult-looking. He’s also a rapper.

Good show. I give it:

- Woody