Here’s a great little nugget from Denver about Checkered Man in today’s comic:
When [Checkered Man] sighs in panel two and replies “I guess so” that’s because he doesn’t like the name “Checkered Man” but it was given to him by Penelope and since he doesn’t want to hurt her feelings…well…it’s kind of stuck with him since then.
Meanwhile, there’s a short and very funny article over at the AV Club about a former Late Night employee who has filed a lawsuit against Jimmy Fallon. I love the AV Club. They are quality hipster-snark.
And last, but certainly not least, happy birthday to our buddy John Wigger over at Zombie Roomie.
Here were my favorite monologue jokes from last night’s Conan.
House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi says she has dirt on Newt Gingrich, but so far she’s keeping her lips sealed. Not because of discretion, because that’s how the last surgeon left them.
A new website just came out, and it’s been designed to calculate how long it takes Mitt Romney to earn your salary. So, from now on whenever Mitt Romney is running late, he can call his wife and say, “I’ll be there in five teachers.”
The Olive Garden announced its undergoing a makeover to try and increase business. They’re so desperate they’re even considering serving Italian food.
The desk segments were Guy Fieri Eating in Reverse and Deon Cole’s Tea Party Slavery Deal. They were both pretty funny:
Elizabeth Banks was the first couch guest. She’s in the film Man on a Ledge. The interview was pretty good. Elizabeth was very energetic, outgoing and funny. I think she rubbed off on Conan, as he was more entertaining with her than with a typical guest. Here’s the first half of the interview where she talks about how she met her husband:
Timothy Olyphant was the second couch guest. He’s the star of the show Justified. The interview was terrific because Timothy was awesome. He was very funny and told some great stories. I really wish the interview was longer, cause Timothy was hitting it out of the park. I apologize for all the videos, I don’t understand why Team Coco felt the need to break the interview up into three sections. It’s worth watching all three:
John Mulaney was the stand-up guest. He was very funny, which is good considering he writes for SNL:
Letterman, Fallon, Leno and Ferguson are all on vacation this week. What a bunch of bums. So, here were my favorite monologue jokes from last night’s Jimmy Kimmel Live!:
It rained today, which we don’t usually allow in LA, but the guys outside in the Spider-man costumes needed a wash so it worked out. We got three-quarters of an inch of rain today. It was scary, one of my arms got wet on the way in. But it should be nice tomorrow. It’s supposed to be sunny and almost 80 this week, just in case anyone needed another reason to hate us.
The mansion where they shoot The Bachelor and The Bachelorette in is for rent. It rents for $2100 a night, as do most of the bachelorettes by the way. I said “most.” It’s in Sonoma; it can be rented whenever they’re not taping the shows. The property has six bedrooms, nine bathrooms and eight thousand square feet of crying space if you’re interested.
Kiefer Sutherland was the first couch guest. He stars in the upcoming show Touch. The interview was good, but it would have been better if Jimmy had let Kiefer finish a a sentence or two. I understand that Kimmel is all about getting as many questions in as possible, but Kiefer is a laid-back kinda guy. If you’re going to invite him on the show, let the man talk at his own pace. My favorite part of the interview was when Kiefer discussed the upcoming 24 movie and his time during the filming of Stand By Me:
Bear Grylls was the second couch guest. He is the host of the show Man vs. Wild. The interview was entertaining. Bear was very personable and told some interesting stories. Here’s the second part of the interview where he and Kimmel make fire together:
Young The Giant was the musical guest. They gave the same fine performance they gave on the Tonight Show back in December.
